Tag Archives: marriage

How years of friendship turned into marriage

The Washington Post has launched a new weekly Sunday feature called OnLove which focuses on couples and weddings.  This week features four couples including White House Chief Domestic Policy Adviser Melody Barnes who recently wed Marland Buckner Jr.  Melody and Marland  were married on June 13 at the Peoples Congregational United Church of Christ in Washington, D.C.

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At Last, Ever After
It Took Years of Friendship Before Melody Barnes and Marland Buckner Forged the Bonds of a Relationship That ‘Felt Like Home’

By Ellen McCarthy
The Washington Post

We swing our eyes around
as well as side to side
to see the world.
To choose, renounce,
this, or that —
call it a council between equals
call it love.
— Alice Walker, “Beyond What”

The time for conforming, if there ever was one, had passed. Melody Barnes, at 40, had become too much herself to engage in shape-shifting for the sake of romance.

Besides, she was doing just fine. More than that — she was a revered political staffer who spent nearly a decade as senior counsel to Sen. Edward Kennedy, a woman who painted watercolors and took acting classes in her spare time, whose curiosity about the world had only grown over the years. She was a woman who would come to serve as President Obama’s domestic policy adviser, who never married but had a life rich with family and friends.

Among those many friends was Marland Buckner. They met in the late 1990s, when Buckner worked as chief of staff to Rep. Harold Ford Jr., and within a few years wound up in the same tightknit social circle of political types who’d often gather for barbecues, weekend trips and movie nights.

“I always remember thinking, when we got together, ‘What a nice person,’ ” Barnes says of the man she married June 13 in front of a crowd that included Rahm Emanuel and Valerie Jarrett. “He was always the one who made sure everything was organized, and would make sure no one was stuck in the kitchen doing dishes.”

But at the time, she didn’t think much more than that. Nice guy. Just a friend.

When the group met in Annapolis for crabs by the bay on Labor Day weekend in 2007, Buckner was seated by Barnes, whom he’d known well for three years by then. Then he reached for a crab out of her pile.

“I was hungry . . . so I figured, ‘I’ll help myself,’ ” recalls Buckner, 42, who worked as a lobbyist for Microsoft before opening his own firm in February 2008. “And she — well, there’s really no other way to put this — she threatened to stab me. With her knife.”

“And I meant it,” Barnes chimes in during a rare afternoon off from the White House.

Congrats to Melody and Marland.

You can read the rest here at the Washington Post and check out the wedding photo gallery. The New York Times also has an article about Melody and Marland.

Another couple featured in today’s OnLove section is Betty and Edgar Glick.

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Betty and Edgar have been married for 65 years and have one son.

‘Even if You’re Angry, You Still Kiss Each Other’
A Few Dates and a Few Simple Rules Formed the Glicks’ Firm Foundation

By Ellen McCarthy
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, June 21, 2009

65 Years In

Sure, Betty Glick’s been married, rather delightedly, to the same fellow for 6 1/2 decades. There’s a strategy behind the longevity, and she’s happy to share it: “Be nice.”

You expected something more elaborate? Well, maybe that’s the problem. It’s a relationship, not advanced astrophysics, and you just stick with it, day after day after 23,876th day, trying, at least, to be nice to each other.

Because “if you’re going to be cruel, unkind, say mean things,” she explains, “it spoils it immediately.”

Of course things haven’t always been perfect in the lives of Edgar and Betty Glick. Really, it’s amazing that things worked out as well as they have. They got married the fourth time they saw each other, in February 1944, and three weeks later Edgar shipped off to Italy.

“Here’s two kids, 19 and 20. It’s a war. They’ve seen each other three times over a year-and-a-half. They get married. And I wouldn’t give you 20 cents for the chances of that marriage lasting,” says Edgar, now 85, from an armchair in their Reston home.

The two met on a blind date in 1942. He was a Pittsburgh boy who drove up to Erie after a friend told him to “date Betty Shapiro — she’s fun!” They went out twice before he left for Army duty. And that was it, until a friend told Betty that Edgar was in Sioux Falls, S.D., sick with pneumonia doctors thought would kill him.

Congrats to Betty and Edgar on their 65 years of marriage.  It’s nice to read about couples who’ve been married for more than 50 years.

Check out the entire about Betty and Edgar Glick at the Washington Post.

Yes they can live in perfect harmony

I was reading the Washington Post Express during my lunch break today. One of the sections I love reading is the B.I.O.(By Invitation Only) section which features upcoming weddings and union.  I enjoy reading about how different couples met. Well one couple in particular caught my eye. You see they’re both black but he’s a Republican and she’s a Democrat. In the black community if you admit you’re a Republican it’s like you slapped someone’s mama.  Check out the article below.  Even the title is cool.

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I couldn’t help but laugh when I read the part about how they both pushed back away from the table and she was close to showing him the door before the relationship even started. I’m glad to read that they got over their political differences. 🙂

Anyway Jonathan Johnson and La Dale Felton are getting married on June 20 so congrats to the happy couple.

Los Angeles couple promote increase in African American marriages

With all the talk about gay marriage and seeing an increase in some black folks becoming more outspoken against gay marriage, a Los Angeles couple is seeking to increase marriages amongst African Americans. La Grande and Sonja Mason teach marriage education courses through their nonprofit group Helping Angelinos Live Optimistic (H.A.L.O.).

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L.A. Couple Seeks to Increase African American Marriages

BY NADRA KAREEM

CONTRIBUTING WRITER

The right to marry is the talk of California, if not the nation, right now. But as the gay community fights for marriage access, African Americans have routinely been singled out for not marrying as frequently as other ethnic groups do.

About 42 percent of black men and 41 percent of black women are unmarried, compared to 27.5 percent of white men and 21 percent of white women, according to the African American Healthy Marriage Initiative, a campaign of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. To boot, African Americans divorce at higher rates, live in more single-headed family households, and have more out-of-wedlock births than their white, Hispanic and Asian counterparts, the marriage initiative found.

The Masons have also hosted the annual Black Marriage Day celebration in Los Angeles. They’re now involved in a new campaign called “Divorce is Unacceptable,” which aims to keep black families intact.  The Masons feel that we need to go back to the days when divorce isn’t an option and talk about the numerous benefits to marriage.  Though I agree that marriage has its benefits I wouldn’t want to go back to the days of divorce not being an option.  If you’re married to someone who’s abusing you or your children why should you stay in that marriage?

“I really want people to understand we have to get back to those days when (divorce) wasn’t really an option,” Sonja Mason said. “People simply worked things out. The system has made divorce so easy. They even advertise quickie divorces.”

She said marriage is vital because it’s the foundation of the family. She and her husband say the benefits of marriage are numerous.

La Grande Mason, a psychoanalyst and psychotherapist, says that children raised in two-parent families are less likely to get involved with gangs or drugs and are more likely to go to college and have successful marriages themselves. His wife added that life expectancy is longer for married people and financial situations are better. A school administrator in her day job, Sonja Mason said that she’s seen firsthand how divorce damages children.

The Masons don’t believe in cohabitation due to the level of commitment that marriage has over cohabitation. The Mason also believe that even though some black folks might prefer to stay single, some singles come to regret being alone.

Of course, some people simply don’t want to marry. They appreciate the single life. Sonja Mason said that, while she and her husband aren’t imposing marriage on everyone, they believe that many singles come to regret a life alone. They ask themselves, “Is this really how I want the rest of my life to go?” she said.

Others shy away from marriage because they didn’t have proper role models and, thus, fear repeating their parents’ mistakes, the Masons say.

But Sonja Mason admitted that marriage isn’t for everyone. However, part of being a marriage advocate is to show those who would benefit from marriage that they, too, can have a thriving union.

“Marriage doesn’t (mean) you lose your individuality,” La Grande Mason said.

You can check out the entire article here.

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